User blog:Maidori Waifurin/Yui's Last Will and Testament

Koharu: As the executrix of Ms. Rio's estate, I have been empowered to read Ms. Rio's last will and testament. Haruto: Well, get on with it! The bar's open soon. Kokona: POOR DEAR YUI! *sobs* Riku: Oh, there, there Kokona... Mei: Oh, how predictably boring. Yuna: I never worked for a kinder woman. Koharu: If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading. Mei: I knew it. Haruto: hahahaha Koharu: "I, Yui Rio, being of sound mind and body--" Haruto: That's a laugh! AHAHAHAHAHA-- Koharu: "--do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional friend Kokona" Kokona: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Riku: Kokona, darling. She's talking about us. Kokona: Oh. Koharu: "who grubbed with her husband Riku, grubbed for everything they could get from me and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy" Kokona: ... what? Koharu: "to Kokona, I leave," Koharu: "A boot to the head." Kokona: A WHAT? Kokona: OW! Riku: Kokona, are you okay? Koharu: "And another boot to her wimpy husband Riku." Riku: OW! Haruto: Hahahaha! Kokona: This is an outrage! Koharu: Ah, but still, you ARE my friend, you have both admired my (I couldn't catch these two words), and since I no longer need it" Kokona: Oh, dear Yui, she's too kind! Koharu: "I bequeath another boot to the head." Kokona: What?! Kokona: OW!! Haruto: AHAHAHAHAHA! Koharu: "And one more for the wimp." Riku: OW!! Koharu: "Next, to my alcoholic ex-boyfriend" Haruto: Hey, I don't want no boot to the head. Koharu: "To dear Haruto, who has not worked a day in his drunken life" Haruto: I'm covering up my head! Koharu: "I leave my wine cellar and 3 crates of my finest whiskey." Haruto: Really? Koharu: "And a boot to the head." Haruto: OW! Koharu: "And another for Kokona and the wimp!" Kokona: OW! Riku: OW! Koharu: "NEXT, to my know-it-all friend Koharu" Mei: This is so predictable. Koharu: "I leave a boot to the head." Mei: Ow... I knew it... Koharu: "And one for Kokona and the wimp." Kokona: OW! Riku: OW! Koharu: "And now to Yuna" Yuna: Haha, I don't want nothing.. Koharu: "Who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea" Yuna: Oh, I didn't mind. Koharu: "To Yuna, I bequeath a boot to the head." Yuna: OW! Koharu: "And one for Kokona and the wimp." Kokona: OW! Riku: OW! Koharu: "And so to my cat, Mittens, I leave my entire, vast... boot to the head." Mittens: *hisses* Koharu: "And, finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian devil to be plACED I N HIS TROUS ERS--" Everyone: 0o0 Koharu: "OH OH OH- A-ANDILEAVEMYENTIREESTATEOFTENMILLIONDOLLARSTOTHEPEOPLEOFCALGARYSOTHEYSOTHEYCANAFFORDTOMOVESOMEWHEREDECENT--" Koharu: 0o0 Riku: Is that it? Mei: That's it? Haruto: That's disgraceful! Koharu: "There's one last thing for everyone" Haruto: Cover your heads, everybody! Koharu: "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream." Riku: Ice cream...? Haruto: Ice cream? Mei: Ice cream? That's all? Koharu: That's all. Yuna: What flavor is it? Koharu, smirking: "Boot to the head."
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