User blog:Rgis/Buy Now!

Have you ever wanted random crap? Then this is for you!

Here at Forever 1989 we sell the most divine clothes you'll ever see! There are new shoes in stock, called the "Incredibly Normal Shoes"! You won't get them anywhere else! That is, except for Paymore Shoe Source, Big Rainbow 12, and basically every other shoe store ever. But other than that they are a RARITY!

That is an acronym. It stands for:

R Not-rare-at-all (the "R" is silent)

Abraham (to freak out all the Abraham's reading this)

Rity

Ity

Ty

Y

It's amazing how these shoes will change your life! With new shoes, they can give you immortality! They can give you tons of cash! They can give you gourmet (pet) food! They can give you a massage! Some pudding! They can even give you your ex-wife back! They will grant you everything you've ever wanted and more!

The people of Forever 1989 are not responsible for anything that happens because of, around, with, and in these shoes. It is not our fault if you don't get immortality, money, food, massages, pudding, or if your ex-wife slaps you when you come to her house while your kids hide behind her legs and she calls the cops and eventually gets a restraining order. We are not responsible if you spontaneously combust while running, as that is entirely not our fault even though it's happened several times already. We are not responsible if the shoes try to murder you in your sleep. Repeatedly.



Next we have the "recently" stocked ("recently" as in half a decade ago) girls' uniform #1! It is called "Incredibly Normal Uniform"! The hot, smoking model in the picture is not included. Nor is the warning sign. Nor is the background. Nor is the uniform itself. Or basically anything in the picture shown above. But, the uniform has a ton of great features! You can wear it! You can... well, that's it. Moving on now. If you get a katana to go with that uniform, then Forever 1989 will ship another uniform, FOR FREE! This new uniform, however, is covered in "red paint"! This "red paint" looks, smells, and acts just like real human blood! It will never wash off, so if you don't like having it on the uniform you'll have to burn it in an incinerator! What a delight!

If you buy 54 items, you get -1 free! That's right folks! A whole -1 item!

We are not responsible if you rage because the pictures aren't exactly in the middle. Please ignore the fact that the pictures are not centered properly. Just forget that the pictures are a bit off. Don't even think about how the pictures could have easily been adjusted slightly to the right. Or the left. Are you doing it? Are you thinking about how the pictures need a bit of editing? Well, don't think about those uneven pictures. Don't mind those awful pictures. Don't even think of the word, "pictures". "Pictures" is a terrible word. "Pictures" should be cleared out of your mind. Never think of the word "pictures" ever again. Never.