User blog:Just Jadis/Relatable things

Mom: are you doing anything today?

Me:no.

Mom:Tomorrow?

Me:No.

Mom:next week?

Me:No.

Mom:With your life?!

Me:No 😭

Me: (cleans whole house, does laundry and dishes, cooks, and irons.)

Mom: THE HOUSE IS SUCH A FUCKING MESS I DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE AND ALL YOU DO IS SIT IN YOUR ROOM AND PLAY GAMES!!! (this actually happened to me IRL)

Me: Dad can we have meatballs for dinner?

Dad: oh so you're eating balls now?!

Me: No Daddy I'm hungry

Dad: don't call me Daddy you little gay fuck!

Me: First of all, what you said is homophobic. Second, I'm a girl. Third, you're my father. I can call you Dad, Daddy, Father, Papa, Dada, or other things you can call your paternal parent.

Mom: (comes to me with a belt) you've been bad I'm going to hit you with this!

Me: how was I bad? All I did was go outside, with your permission might I add.

Mom: (tries to hit me continuously)

Me: (dodges every hit)

Mom: stop moving!

Me: how am I supposed to stop moving? You're throwing a leather belt a t my face. I'm sorry hun, that's a thing called survival instinct, and I'm doing you a favor to be honest. Because if you hit me in the face a little too hard, i'ma get a black eye, and if I walk to school tomorrow with a black eye, guess who's going to jail? You.